Funny Punny

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed food coloring.  The doctor said I would be ok.... but I feel like I have dyed inside.

Prince

If the elevator tries to break you down, punch a higher floor!!!
Let's go crazy!

Funny Punny

Today I dreamed I was drowning in an orange soda pop ocean.

Turned out to be a Fanta sea.....

Creative Writing- 3 Elements Prompt

  Today is the day, we are finally heading to the zoo.  I have waited all month for my birthday road trip.  It wasn’t a long drive, only a couple hours but we never get time away to go anywhere hardly, so it makes it even more special. As we approached the big city that housed the zoo, a large open backed truck was in the lane beside us. It was the kind of truck you would see on a safari transporting wild animals from one area to another. As I peered closer, I saw eyes peering back at me.  It was the cutest little chimpanzee in the back of the truck, nestled in a pile of hay and playing with an orange. 
“Honey look!  There’s a chimpanzee!  I wonder if its new home is going to be at the zoo?” I excitedly asked.
Chuckling, my husband replied, “I don’t know.  Why don’t you ask him?”
I rolled down my window and yelled at the little chimpanzee while we waited for the light to change at the busy intersection.
“Hey little fella, you going to a new home?” I screamed while laughing.
Everything went black….
“Sarah, can you hear me?”
“Sarah, open your eyes. Say something. Sarah?”
I could hear the pleas from my husband, and my name from a voice I did not recognize.  I slowly opened my eyes to be blinded by a bright light shining in them. I felt a finger holding my eye lid open and a sharp pain on the right side of my head.
“Ouch!  What in the hell happened Bob?” I requested as painlessly as I could.
“You don’t remember? Oh, god doctor, is that normal?  Is she okay?” he rambled on nervously.
“I remember saying hi to the chimpanzee in the back of that truck beside us, then waking up here in the emergency room with blaring pain on the right side of my head, and no memory of what happened.” I calmly stated as I tried to sit up.
“Can someone explain to me how this happened to the patient?” the doctor asked.
“I guess I will have to because my wife can’t seem to remember.  We were headed to the zoo and at a stop light we saw a truck beside us with a little chimpanzee in the back.  My wife rolled down her window to say hi to it.  She loves animals.  The little monkey had a whole bag of oranges apparently because he started throwing them at my wife. One after another, and before she or I could get the window rolled up, three had hit her on the temple. She passed out.  I stopped the car, and so did the man driving the chimpanzee truck and as I was calling 911, and trying to wake my wife up the driver came over and told me that they were taking Pong, the award winning orange-ball pitcher chimpanzee away from the zoo because he was becoming a danger to the patrons. That is when the ambulance showed up and brought us here.” Bob explained to the doctor.
“Well, that has to be the most unusual incident I have seen to date in this ER.  Your wife will be fine. She doesn’t appear to have a concussion, but to be on the safe side just keep her awake for at least 8 hours.” he said with a slight chuckle in his voice.
Bob grabbed me by the hand and helped me out of bed, and to the car.  In the seat where I was sitting for hours excitedly waiting to reach the zoo, was a bag of oranges.
“Oh, Pong said he was sorry! Still wanna go to the zoo?” Bob snickered as he got behind the wheel.

Random Writing Prompt- Put your music player on random- Press play and take the first line you hear from the song playing. (No cheating) Write a short paragraph that begins with those words.

Smoke your little smoke, drink your little drink, and try to make sense of the things you think of.  While smoking my little smoke I ponder the things that I think and do indeed try to make sense of them, and the answers. For example; If I were an ocean would I be a calm, ripply, or a stormy one?  I also think at times, what if everyone looked identical, what would I do to my appearance to look different?  Then there is the great quandary; who killed the Dead Sea? I mean seriously.  Was it too beautiful and someone did it out of jealousy?  Oh and why I am at this whole thinking of things that I think and trying to make sense of them, what about a fly?  If a fly had no wings, would it still be called a fly?  Did it first get called a fly because it flied?  Being wingless, would it be called a walk?  Would it walk? Maybe it would trundle about, who knows?  At conclusion of my thoughts while drinking my little drink, I ask this (because it has entered my mind a lot); comparing your life and the way you live today, and if you died tomorrow… what do you think you would come back as if you were reincarnated? Wow!

Creative Writing- Write a scene that takes place immediately after a tragedy. Do not mention the tragedy.

    The day had arrived. Tears welled in my eyes at the sight of the shiny rectangle box. How could he do it? He knew it would kill me, and I wouldn’t understand. This is the first time he succeeded in his attempts.

     I touch the golden box with one hand and cover my tearing eyes with the other.  Alone. All alone, with no comfort food to bury my sorrow in. What am I to do now?  How am I to go on now?  I could easily replace what is lost but why should I have too?

     “I know it’s hard and complicated but it’s not the end of the world.” stated Rebekka.

     “Shut the hell up, you don’t understand!” I snapped back.

     Rebekka sighed and rolled her eyes.

     “He actually did it this time!  He actually did it!” I said with a shaking voice.

     “I see that.” Rebekka replied as she rested her hand on the rectangle box.

     Sobs began to escape me uncontrollably as she placed another hand on my shoulder.

     “We will fix this. You will be fine.” she whispered in my ear.

Open Mind

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. ~ Sir Terry Pratchett

Beautiful Creatures

Because mortals do nothing
but consume and destroy.
They invent ideas...
...like God, and love, and righteousness...
...and then they use those same ideas
to kill anyone who disagrees with them.
You really want to hang out
with those people?
They pray without true beliefs
and then wonder why their spells don't work.
They don't even value
their pathetic little lives...
...until seconds before it's taken from them

Tonights Torpor

Center yourself with the Earth, and with open eyes, see that we all, whether small or large are connected in one form or another. Perhaps when you open your eyes, you can embrace more of what eludes your closed mind and become more divine in your humanity.